seriously....this is my life

reflections on my first year of parenting

A year ago today we received the call that we could come meet and bring home our precious baby boy.  I remember having a multitude of feelings skittering around my mind and heart that entire day.  What if I didn't love this baby?  What if I hated being a Mom?  What if I was so exhausted that I didn't enjoy it?  What if my baby cried all the time?  What would happen if I couldn't soothe him?  How would my relationship with Brian change?  What if this baby had colic?  And in rapid succesion these kind of questions flew through my mind...and yet I was excited and confident that this was God's plan...that He would equip me with everything I need...that everything would be just fine. 

Fine...it's been much more than fine...it's been absolutely wonderful!  As I reflect on the past year here are some things I take with me.

1. Adoption is just magical. Being a part of  God taking someone's mistake and turn it into someone else's greatest blessing is inspiring and humbling.

2. The book BabyWise and the principles in it work...I think every new parent should not only read this book, but implement the ideas in it.  It's not always easy, but it works.  I believe that a huge part of Karsten's happy, content disposition and healthy sleep habits have been molded by the implementation of these principles. Now I need to get Toddler Wise.

3. Although I miss Karsten being a newborn he really is becoming more and more fun as his personality develops. 

4. I did remarkably well with less sleep than normal in the early months.

5. Brian and I make a great team and see eye to eye on most things. 

6. Brian is an unbelieveably fantastic Daddy.  I knew he would be great, but he finds such joy in being a Daddy and he loves playing with Karsten.

7. Without a doubt I will be the disciplinarian.

8. Karsten makes parenting easy, so far....we'll see how I feel next year! 

9. Naptime and Baby Einstein are worth gold.

10. I have a love for Karsten that knows no boundaries. 

11. I have become much more sentimental this past year. 

12. I'm much more relaxed about things than I thought I'd be.  I feel I have a good balance of being in a routine and being flexible.

13. Because Karsten is so easy going it's easy to push him too far when running errands.

14. I am the biggest fan of pacifiers and dread the day when it's time to take it away. 

15. As someone who always saw herself being a Momma to a girl, I now cannot imagine not being  a Momma to a boy.  I love being Karsten's Mom and wouldn't trade it for anything.

16. We are completely content with Karsten being an only child, but if God moves us to adopt again we will follow.

17. The thought of adopting again scares me to death.  Karsten has spoiled me...and I know it!

18. I really treasure my Mom friends, one in particular, who has been there for me since the very beginning and is always willing to listen and give advice.  Since I have become a Mom, the two of us have become really close friends and have realized just how similar we are in most areas of our lives. You know who you are :)

19. Much of my daily life revolves around Karsten, but I feel like I have a healthy balance of allowing him to play independently and getting things done around the house.  I continue to pursue my own activities and have identity away from him. 

20. Brian and I love being his parents.  There is nothing we enjoy more than going for walks as a family and playing with him...BUT...we know that keeping our relationship intact and thriving is very important for his development and security. 

Here are some fun comparison photos:

our first family photo, taken a year ago today

and our most recent family photo...taken on his birthday

His first car ride

A car ride on his birthday

Aunt Shanda holding him on his first Easter

Aunt Shanda holding him on his first Birthday

Auntie Jessica holding Karsten for the first time

Auntie Jessica "Yissy" holding Karsten on his first birthday

Brian holding him for the first time

Brian holding him on his birthday

**If you're new to the blog and haven't read the long detailed story of Karten's journey to us click here**

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY KARSTEN EDWARD!!!!!!

Dear Karsten---

As I type this outside on a beautiful Spring day I am nearly brought to tears that you are already one year old.  You are our dream come true and have surpassed all of our expectations of what a baby would be like.  You are happy, funny, groovy, delightful, energetic, and a determined little boy.  Our biggest joy is being your parents and getting to care for you and love you every day. 

Many people have come to celebrate your first year.  Kate and Emma arrived from San Antonio, Kiki and Grandpa K came from IL,  and Uncle Chris, Aunt Shanda, and cousin Braedon came from Dallas. Today we're going to the Children's Museum and tonight many other people are coming to party with the birthday boy! Today is a day you won't remember, but I promise I will remember this day like I remember the day I first met you, nearly a year ago. 

Love you forever---

Momma (and Daddy)

I have over 800 photos to go through over the next few days, but here's one that caught my eye to share now!

Dear Karsten (10 months old)

Dear Karsten---

Let Mommy begin by saying that she can hardly believe she's planning your 1st birthday party.  It seems like just a few months ago that we brought you home.  Mommy and Daddy are enjoying you so much.  You are beginning to understand games like Peek a Boo and you love when we "chase" you...I'm sure that will continue to the point that it is no longer a game for us!  You have a great sense of humor and understand silly faces and funny voices.  You think it's hilarious when we talk to you in a funny voice or say "peeeeee U" when we're changing your stinky diaper.  You currently love playing with most of your toys and you love dragging certain things around like your barn.  You'll also try to crawl while holding things in both of your hands.  You love pushing a plastic bottle around on the wood floors.  You still use your pointer finger to feel textures and scrape at things. 

You are a great traveler and have no problem with your car seat.  Most of the time you will fall asleep in the car if the trip is over 10 minutes.  When you do stay awake you're interested to look outside, play with your toys, and babble to yourself.  You also enjoy taking your socks off during car rides!  You still love books; holding them, flipping the pages, and chewing on them.  We read to you everyday, although don't always sit still for the story.  I know, however, that it's good for you to hear us read books because of the repetition of words and the cadence in how we read. 

This month we've introduced you to many new foods.  We had to take a little break the past couple of weeks because you're tummy was upset from antibiotics you were taking, but you like lots of different things:  Black beans, cooked carrots, potatoes, zucchini, peas, avacado.  We've started also feeding you plain Greek yogurt with baby fruit mixed in.  You really like that and it's so good for you.  You're not big on pasta or bananas. Mommy has also started buying Magic Pop rice crackers, at HEB, and you love those.  You like bigger pieces so you can hold onto them.  You still love your bottle, but are doing great drinking out of your sippy cup.

We've also been taking lots of walks using your big boy stroller.  You just chill out and look around.  Sometimes you even fall asleep.  We live in such a beautiful neighborhood with walking paths, lakes, fountains, a playground, and lots of turtles in the lakes. You really like your big boy stroller when we're shopping or running errands as well. 

I believe you're at the beginning stage of talking.  You'll see Zoe and say something that resembles kitty.  Sometimes you will say mama and dada or baba.  I think when you figure it all out you'll never stop.  You love when we sing to you and you continue to enjoy watching Baby Einstein. 

Sadly, this month was also the first time you've been sick.  You ended up having a sinus and ear infection that resulted in your taking antibiotics for the first time.  Thankfully, you never ran a fever, but you struggled to get a good night's sleep because you were having a difficult time breathing through your nose.  You are so attached to your Wubby (pacifier) that you really struggled when you were trying to sleep and suck on your pacifier, but couldn't breath.  It made for some late nights with you, but you're totally worth it!   

Not only are you absolutely adorable, your personality is really beginning to develop.  You continue to be easy going, sweet, and very social.  You love spending time with both of your parents and having people pay attention to you.  You get upset when you don't get your way, but you quickly get over it and move on.  The few times I've had to raise my voice at you because you we're trying to play with the outlet and you bit me, the sound of my "teacher" voice startled you and hurt your feelings. 

When we went to the Pediatrician a few weeks ago (when you were sick) you weighed 19lbs 14 oz. You probably aren't going to be a big kid, but your personality will surely be larger than life!!!  You have 7 teeth and crawl around very quickly.  You can pull up on furniture and stand and are slowly learning to move around things while standing. 

Darling boy, you are the sunshiine in our lives....making everyday full of joy, happiness, and unexpected moments.  We are so blessed to get to raise you and watch you grow and develop into who God created you to be.  You are our greatest treasure and we love you more and more every day!

Love,

Mommy (and Daddy)

serious face (something we see more than many would imagine!)

and hands down, one of my favorite photos of Karsten

HAPPY ADOPTION DAY, KARSTEN!

From the very beginning of this long, arduous adoption process THIS is the day we've waited for, hoped for, prayed for....today, at 8:30 am, we met at the Fort Bend County Courthouse and finalized the adoption of Karsten.  We are no longer his Prospective Adoptive Parents....we are now legally his parents.  No more monthly Pediatrician appointments, no more monthly visits with Charlotte, no more monthly progress reports to fill out.  We are his and he is ours...forever.  I didn't cry, but almost did when our attorney asked me if I was ready to legally become his mother, to legally become a first-time mother.  I quickly replied, "Yes, absolutely!"  As I stood there before the Judge,  I had a quick flashback to a very difficult day when I was 12.  The day I had to choose whether or not I would be willing to have my first heart transplant.  On that day I will never forget thinking to myself "well, I want to be a wife and mother, so yes!"  That was my reasoning at 12 years old and today the second half of that reasoning was literally signed into history.  

His name was legally changed to Karsten Edward Moore, we didn't realize that he had been given a birthname, but now his birth certificate will say Karsten Edward Moore and we will be documented as his parents!!!  So. Very. Cool! 

Yes, on April 10th when we brought him home we became his parents, but there was always an asterik next to that.  Technically the Adoption Agency was still his legal guardian.  Until today :) There are no more asteriks...and unless asked I don't even think I'll mention that he's adopted.  It's pretty obvious, but I feel like he is such a part of us now that it doesn't even matter.  Blood doesn't make a family, Love makes a family!!! 

The Judge Pope gave Karsten a stuffed Hippo that we've named "Hippope"

A little "jet pilot" while we waited for Charlotte, who had another adoption finalization to take care of.

Charlotte, the director of the adoption agency

To all of you who have prayed over our adoption journey THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts.  We know that God's hands have been all over this journey and we continue to pray that He will guide us in raising our son, Karsten Edward Moore, for a lifetime to come! 

baby shower decor

My cousins, Jessica and Chelsea, did such a great job on the decor for the "Meet the Baby Shower".  I loved everything they did...here are some shots that Chelsea took with my camera. (I just handed it over to her for the day)

Diaper Cake---an adorable item for any shower!

I can't wait to put these shoes on Karsten!

Flowers+ Citrus= lovely and simple

Onesie and bib banner---too cute!

Words of Wisdom

Food and Drinks

ETC..

 

 

Dear Karsten {2 months old}

Dear Karsten---

WOW...another month has come and gone and Mommy and Daddy love you more than ever!  You are the biggest blessing to us.  We had a fun photo session this morning and Mommy is excited about what she captured.  You are so photogenic which makes your novice photographer Momma very happy!

Here's your 1 month photo

and your 2 month photos...

This month there have been many changes.  First of all, we moved out of your first house and into an apartment.  The apartment is cozy and we are sharing a bedroom with you.  We tried to put your pack and play in the closet, but it took up too much valuable storage space, so for now, you are snoozing just a few feet away from us. 

It took you a few nights to adjust to a new sleeping situation.  You were outgrowing your bassinet, so we've put you directly in the pack and play which you seem to be doing well with now. 

You still like to be swaddled, but you now want your feet free and get angry if they're restrained in any way.  When you're awake and playing you kick those chubby legs non stop. Oh, yes....you're getting rolls in your your thighs and arms!  Today you graduated to Pampers Swaddlers Size 1....no more newborn for you (sniff sniff)

You certainly recognize Daddy and I when you see us.  When Daddy gets home from work and picks you up you smile and coo.  You jabber, coo, and smile much of your awake time.  You're "talking" can sound like fussing, but I've learned the difference.  You get a kick out of looking at yourself in the mirror.  Your nicknames are Mr. Baby, Bugaboo, Little Bug, and Karsteney (because your name is Karsten E.) and because Aunt Kelly calls Edward, Edwardy...so Mommy started calling you Karsteny :) and now Daddy does too

You still love your farmyard play mat, especially the mirrored cow.  You are beginning to stretch and hit the animals that hang, but it's not intentional and you get frustrated if you move the mirrored cow to the point you can no longer see your reflection.

Today you had your 2 month check up.  You currently weigh 10 lbs 11 oz and are 22 1/2 inches long.  You're right on track.  You're eating 6-7 times per day at 3 1/2- 4 1/2 ounces each time.  We may increase a couple feedings to 5 ounces to see if that will help you sleep through the night. 

You still take great naps for which mommy is grateful! You have done great on the schedule we put you on your first week of life...everyone says we have an easy baby...your temperment is easy going, but I believe much of your disposition is because we have you on a sleep, eat, play schedule and you always (almost always) know what's coming next. 

Daddy and I believe that you are getting cuter every day...you're expressions and personality are adorable.  We thank God for you every single day ...you continue to be our dream come true!

love-

Mommy (and Daddy)

We bought this owl in Golden, CO on our trip in October...I was going to use owls for a boy or girl, but this is a very boyish owl and I'm so glad I bought it for the baby growing in our hearts.  I do regret however that I didn't take a one month photo with the owl...I meant to, but forgot...oh well we'll do it every month from now on!

the first week

Yesterday marked the first week of becoming parents.  In some ways the week has been harder than expected and in other ways much easier.

1. I am getting by on less sleep than I'm accustomed to and doing really well.  I'm thinking mostly clear, I'm accomplishing some things around the house, and am staying on top of a daily to do list.

2. Karsten has his fussy moments and 90% of the time they occur because of gas.

3. All in all he is a very sweet baby who sleeps A LOT. As I type this post he's sleeping on my bed (don't worry I'm on the bed too!)

4. Although the past couple of days he's stayed alert for 30+ minutes, content to look around.  He loves looking at the balloons my friend Christine brought over.

5. He eats about every 3 hours and seems to do really well with the schedule we have him on.  Our only issue is that he drifts off to sleep while eating, so we've had to figure out ways to keep him alert enough to eat.

6. He's had a lot of visitors this past week. 

7. He goes through about 8 diapers per day.

8. We've switched his formula to Similac Sensitive

9. Brian and I have been fed well due to our great friends and family members.

10. Most of the time parenting suits us well, although I'd be lying if I said there's been no frustration.  Structure and feeding times now dictate our lives, but flexibility is the key to happiness.

 

photos from Aunt Kelly

I was so happy that Kelly was willing to drop everything and drive here Sunday to help document our first hours as parents.  Karsten will know Kelly as Aunt Kelly because she will be like an Aunt to him like I am like an Aunt to X and E.

the new daddy

If I'm called Aunt La La will Kelly be called Aunt Lee Lee?

Great Aunt Connie

Daddy reading the Bible to Karsten

Mommy swaddling Karsten (something she's gotten quite good at!)

Feeding time

This photo cracks me up!

Is there anything more precious than baby feet?

10 things that I've been reminded of this week

1. God's plan is far better than anything we could ask or imagine.  If you would have asked me a month ago what my deepest adoption dream would be I would have told you a Hispanic girl...now I cannot imagine life without my sweet natured, beautiful baby boy! 

2. It's not worth trying to manipulate God's plan...when we found out just over a week ago that we might get a baby boy I hesitated for a second, always imagining myself with a girl. We could have said no based on what I had always imagined...but then I reminded myself that God was in control and He knew best.  Thankfully I've already learned that lesson a time or two...or three!

3. Prayer works---there were so many people lifting us and the birthmom up in prayer.  I believe that the intercession and faith of other believers is what gave her peace and strength to follow through with her plan.

4. God can use unplanned pregnancies and tough situations for His purposes.  Praise Him for that!

5. I really can get by on less sleep than I'm used to...praise Him for that too!

6. Brian is amazing.  He's been very hands on from changing diapers, to feeding, to helping with bathtime, to reading and singing to Karsten.

7. There's really nothing like good friends.

8. Babies love to be swaddled.

9. Mylicon is a life saver. 

10. My kitties are great.  Zoe is a bit jealous of the baby...she has been extremely needy, but she's adjusting and we're making a point to give her extra love.  Oliver is curious and scared of Karsten.  He's not one to like loud noises and although Karsten is usually quiet and content, he occasionally screams and cries and Oliver hides. 

the meaning of the name

We've had many people ask where we got the name Karsten.

Several years ago some friends of ours were trying to come up with a boy's name for a child they were expecting.  They asked us if we knew any good names.  Well Brian and I love to research things like that so we started researching and Brian checked out German names.  Karsten was one of the names---the name we both loved and agreed on. 

Karsten is Greek or German in origin and means Annointed One, Blessed One---it's kind of like naming the baby Christian.  WE LOVE IT...

Edward means guardian of prosperity.  My grandfather's name was Edward and Brian's fathers', grandfather's, and great grandfather's middle name was Edward.